Step Right Up...Step Right Up

That's right, Ladies and Gents! Buy one vote now, get five more free!

(curteousy of the man sitting at the bar, wearing the black robe)

Why One Vote Just Isn't Enough Anymore

"I Know What You Did Last Session"

Let's see, what got accomplished in the Senate in May:

Crapo (Yeah, no doubt) Amendment: Limiting further bailouts of Freddie and Fannie Mactastic.
Survey Says- Motion Rejected
The vote count: 47 to 46 (What a close one, baseball fans!)
See who was on what team!

Gregg Amendment: Prohibit tax payer bailouts of fiscally irresponsible state and local governments.
Survey Says- Amendment Rejected
The vote count: 50 to 47 (I'll give you a scooby snack if you can figure out which team California was on!)
See who else said "Nay"

Sessions Amendment: To provide an orderly and transparent bankruptcy process for non-bank financial institutions and prohibit bailout authority.
Survey Says- Amendment Rejected
The vote count: 58 to 42
Who wants to be able to bailout Insurance Firms!

Shelby Amendment: To establish a Division of Consumer Financial Protection within the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, and for other purposes.
Survey Says- Amendment Agreed
The vote count: 63 to 36
People wanting to make sure banks actually check to see if someone qualifies for a loan!

Carper Amendment: To address the applicability and preservation of certain State authorities, and for other purposes.
Survey Says- Amendment Agreed
The vote count: 80 to 12
See Who wants to block states from filing class action lawsuits against national banks

Motion to Waive All Applicable Budgetary Discipline re: McCain Amdt. No. 4214:
To provide for National Guard support to secure the southern land border of the United States.
Survey Says- Motion Rejected
The vote count: 51 to 46
Check out the Nays and Yeas

Feingold Amendment: To require a plan for the safe, orderly, and expeditious redeployment of the US Armed Forces from Afghanistan.
Survey Says- REJECTED]
The vote count: A measly 18 Yeas to 80 Nays
God, We can't even come up with a plan for removal???

A Think I May See a Problem Here....

Here's an interesting little story concerning the amount of tuition waivers being offered to illegal immigrants in the state of California:

http://www.sacbee.com/2010/04/01/2648006/illegal-immigrants-less-than-1.html

The story is a "in your face Republicans" type commentary poking fun at how only 1% of the college students in California are illegal immigrants.

First, I am surprised and alarmed...but not for the reasons you think. In a population that is scheduled to become infinitely larger in the next ten years....1% are getting a college education!!!!!

I may not be Dionne Warwick...but this scares the hell out of me. Looks like one of the fastest growing populations in America aren't too hip on furthering their education past free K-12.

Let's hear a 'hip hip hooray' for our large, minimally educated workforce of the future.

Dumb and Dumber

Now, don't get me wrong...I am not an avid Palin fan. In fact, you could say that my feelings towards her are similar to my feelings about World Series baseball...lukewarm and tempered with a spoonful of apathy.

However, there is NOTHING IN THIS WORLD that I find funnier than intellectual hypocrisy....seriously! Not even cheesecake!

Reid Thinks That Palin is an Absolute Moron!

Hmm...pretty big talk coming from a man that spent a year of his life writing a health bill that he can't keep straight. Maybe he should have written "Vote YES on health reform, Dumbass" on his palm....both times!

Oh Goody!

Looks like we all made out like bandits with Citigroup:

Citigroup Stock Sale Rakes in Big Bucks

This is SUCH good news...since Frannie and Freddie are gonna need it!

Freddie and Fannie Fall to the Great Empire

And they say we don't manufacture anything in the U.S. anymore...

We do so....we make REAR GEAR!

"What's Rear Gear?" you say.

I'll let the company's founder explain:

"Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I've got them covered... Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet's un-manicured back side."

Get the whole amazing story here:

Has Consumerism Literally Become a Pain in the Butt?

Hmmm.....covering unsightly physical features....do they make these in face size? I could think of a few people I would like to see "geared".

My Prius Went "Autoban"....Sikes!

It looks like Toyota can close the books on their Cali Prius scandal:

It Couldn't Have Been Our Problem!

Interestingly enough, their initial test of their product before market didn't reveal any problems either. Hmmm....

Does Botox Lower IQ?

Oh Nancy...say it isn't so!

While you've nipped and tucked and pulled and plucked to look your very best, you've been robbed of not only your youth, but your intelligence as well! It's the botox...the botox, sweetheart!

Kabuki Pelosi and Her Delusional Grandstanding!

"What has happened in the last year, in the past year, in the United States Senate is a total obstruction by the Republican senators," Pelosi said.

How in the world does someone get to become the speaker of the house when they can't understand the concept of "SUPER MAJORITY"? It would actually be pathetic to hear her rant- over...and over....and OVER again- if her obstructionist song and dance wasn't political pandering aimed at confusing all of us "uneducated-about-the-process" Americans.

It's actually like watching a size 14 woman try to cram herself into a pair of size 4 Seven jeans:

• 1)it's painful to watch and
• 2) the truth just ends up "spilling out" eventually.

Cry Me a Freakin' River...

"In response to criticism from opponents seeking to defeat him in the Aug. 24 Republican primary, the four-term senator says he was misled by then-Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke. McCain said the pair assured him that the $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program would focus on what was seen as the cause of the financial crisis, the housing meltdown. "

McCain Tries to Weasel His Way Out

Please? Since when is propping up a public industry with tax dollars borrowed from ANOTHER COUNTRY been a sound, financial plan?

McCain insults the intelligence of Arizonians!

I Sure Am Glad......

That partisanship is a "Republican Only" club!

Reid Mouths "SCREW U" Across the Aisle

Every time I think he can't pull another rabbit out of his hat, another rodent emerges. While I appreciate his desire to cut government spending (*cough, cough, giggle*), it seems to me that Washington (Reid in particular) must think the average American WAIS score actually falls below 69!

There's only three possible reasons he would pull this stunt, folks:

1. He was ordered by the White House to do so to give Americans the IMPRESSION that the dems care about reigning in spending (Not bloody likely!)
2. He's setting the Repubs up to say "NO", thus proving that they don't care a thing about the citizens and they are obstructionists (Note the irony on THAT) or
3. He's hoping to glean that extra $60 billion for more NEVADA bacon deals (Listen for the sizzle).

Ummmm....NO!

You too can get the latest craze in "delusional" attire!

Are you serious? How could we possibly be missing you? The stench left from your corrupt mishandling of our country for 8 long years hasn't even begun to dissipate. What's the shelf life on "apathetic elitist warmonger" stink? Let's see.....8 trillion dollars in debt....over a period of 30 years...divided by a population of...

Holy Smokes! Say Farewell to Freedom Greece!

Although, I will admit I'm not surprised...it's still troubling to actually see it come to this and to think that a nation's sovereignty can be snatched away like taking candy from a baby.

Greece Gets Neutered!

I suppose this is national conquest for the new millennium. We don't form a crusade and invade anymore... we ask you to be our "comrades" and then take you out when you've made enough rope to hang yourself.

Man, I'm Proud of Robert Gibbs

What a tool!


I'm pretty sure that Palin's not smart enough to run our country...but it literally makes me sick to my stomach to think I'm helping pay the salary of someone that's less mature than my eight year old. THIS is the guy the WH thinks should be in charge of it's press image? Is he hoping to parlay his experience in Washington into a spot on Talk Soup???

"Hey, Robbie! Head on over to Sassy's house tonight for dinner. You and my second grader can take turns 'pulling each other's fingers'. Tool."

**The deeply closeted Freudian in me wonders whether Gibbs wipes with his "hope" and "change" hand.**

Always the Last to Know...

Good news everyone! Our ol' buddy Geithner says there's no way we'll see a double dip recession!Of course...then again...he didn't really see the first one coming...

We won't...unless we do...but surely we won't!

It's Official...I think I'm in Love....

with Ron Paul!

Turns Out...REID is the obstructionist!!!

While everyone is agog with emotion and participating in the "OMG, I just LOVE Obama"/"I really think he may be SATAN" debate, following the recent Address given by the President...

I think it might be high time to point out the fallacies of Washington (...ok, I definitely don't have the attention span for that, let's just concentrate on one fallacy and re-evaluate).

Though it racks me with SHOCK and AWE, it appears that the Repubs aren't the only obstructionists in Washington! I know, right? Turns out....REID has committed terrible intergalactic travesties against his fellow senators!

A Big ol' Boring Article about What was Said and What Wasn't Said Last Night...blah blah blah

..."Some House Democrats have privately blamed Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who faces a tough re-election fight in Nevada, for the party's woes and the health care bill's poor prospects. "
"We have to wait for the House of Lords to do their contemplating," said Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y. "We're also not getting much guidance from the mother ship about what the White House really wants and what they're prepared to push for."

Now that's just sad. Not only does he want to wrestle control of 1/6 of our GDP, he willfully holds back extra-terrestrial communications from his fellow senatorial brethren! That's just wrong!

Little Obstructionist!

The Triumph of Machine Over People. ~Fred Allen

Last week President Obama and Arne Duncan, Secretary of Education, visited a group of sixth grade kiddies at Graham Road Elementary in Falls Church, VA to discuss his latest educational craze that's gonna sweep the nation. (Don't worry, it's got a good beat to it!)

Obama, who is normally known for his casual communication style... often speaking directly from his heart and off the cuff... shocked educators and members of his fan club when he pulled a podium and two six foot teleprompters out of his pocket before 'engaging' the ragamuffin students.

Oh blasted! PoliticsDaily is reporting that he didn't actually USE the teleprompters to address the wee ones and instead saved his horse and pony show for the media that had been invited to the event.

And here I thought that ,while he's out of touch with a large portion of the adult American population, he had his finger on the pulse of the new generation and realized they all prefer to sit- dumb, deaf, and unable to otherwise function - staring into a vacuous screen when adults converse with them.

Pity.

Well....well....well...

Short of reiterating what millions of Americans have been saying around the water cooler this morning, I'll refrain from discussing my absolute SHOCK at what transpired in Massachusetts yesterday. Thank God there's absolutely no wind on this gloomy morning cause I'd hit the deck with even less force than a feather.

The most interesting thing I found in the media this morning was not about Brown's victory, but about cannibalism:

Brown: My victory is about more than Obama

What? You can't see the glaring reference to cannibalism?

"Even before the first results were announced, administration officials were privately accusing Coakley of a poorly run campaign and playing down the notion that Obama or a toxic political landscape had much to do with the outcome."

You have GOT to be kidding me? Poorly run campaign? Under normal circumstances, Coakly could have won by double digits by handing out fliers at a few local grocery stores for a single Saturday afternoon! It's Massachusetts! If faced with the prospect of voting in a Repub or a democrat they couldn't stand, it would be more likely that those in 'Cape Town' would pull a 'Jeremy Bentham' and embalm Kennedy to reclaim his voting seat in the senate!

But no. The administration turned on poor Coakley like a pack of ravenous wolves. Like I've been saying for the last year or so....democrats should be the most leery of enemy number one....other DEMOCRATS.

Elusive Branch?

Now, I've readily admitted that my acquisition of political savvy is fairly recent, but the headlines from today leave me scratching my head thinking that perhaps I've misunderstood our basic governmental infrastructure.

Democrats Hammered for 'Back-Room' Deal With Unions on Health Care

Now, it's true...the article above appeared at FoxNews which I do think can be biased, but obviously not to the point of rendering reality into fantasy. This happened. Washington actually met with the union boys and cut a deal.

This, in and of itself, does not surprise me. Though I may only be a wee political babe, I understand that deals have be around since about five minutes after the pilgrims hit pay dirt at Plymouth Rock. This is the part I can't comprehend:

"...Democratic leaders are once again drawing fire from their critics for extending special treatment to an interest group in exchange for its support of the bill. "

What do you mean, support??? Is there like a fourth arm of the legislative process that I don't know about? A House of Unions or something?!! Do they eventually have to vote on the health bill? Like, do they rank up there with Nelson? I was really REALLY confused until I got to this part:

"The unions, traditional supporters of the Democratic Party and a major factor in Obama's political infrastructure, got a deal,... "

RIGHHHT! They didn't pay them for a health care vote, they paid them for an election vote...I get it now. This actually makes me hopeful now. See, the unions are just regular citizens like you and I...they're average American workers that need to be supported and taken care of. See how important the opinion of the American public is in this health care process! They want all the regular citizens to be in support of it! See! Obama even said as much the other night at the White House...

"I know how big a lift this has been, I see the polls," Obama told House Democrats assembled for their annual issues conference. "I know that the virtues of this legislation for Americans with insurance and Americans without it have been entirely obscured by fear and distraction. I also know what happens once we get this done, once we sign this bill into law. The American people will suddenly learn that this bill does things they like and doesn't do things that people have been trying to say it does. Their worst fears will prove groundless and the American people's hope for a fair shake from their insurance companies for quality, affordable health care they need will finally be realized."

But wait. The union citizens didn't have to wait until it was all done so that they could suddenly learn what a great deal this bill is... Aren't their fears groundless?... Why were their groundless concerns heard and then acted on instead of having to wait for their fair shake?

Confusion sets in again.

Obama Asks Bush

Obama Calls on George W. Bush to Assist in Haiti Recovery

Umm....was Obama out of town during Katrina?

Obama Reved Up About Uniting Nation

As the United States sat with rapt attention watching the devestation of Haiti unfold, Obama remained optimistic that his second year of office would concentrate on and BE SUCCESSFUL in uniting a nation pulled apart by forces less than natural. Wait...our nation is divided???

Obama: Goal to unite nation is still unfulfilled

Get right out of town! Huh. So if his second year is about unity, his first year must have been about plowing a chasm between the two parties to rival the Grand Canyon. That's good thinking. I follow that logic myself many times. How can you truly reap all of the adoration for fixing something if it hasn't completely gone to hell in the first place?! That's sound strategy.

While we wait to see how the Haitian disaster will play out and pray for those it effects, it might behoove some here in the U.S. to remember that there's an earthquake here on our home turf that might tip the richter above 7. Unbeknowst to the cronies at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., both the right and the left may have succeeded in a unity far greater than Obama ever dreamed... they just didn't expect it to happen in the middle.

Where is the Justice in This World???

WHY do we live in a world where something like THIS is ripped away....

And something like THIS is cruely left to remain???

It's just uncomprehensible and further goes to prove that God CANNOT be female in nature. I don't know that there is another individual on this planet that bothers me as much as ol' Rushiepoo. How can so much arrogance and disdain dwell within one human being? It seems like an impossibility, doesn't it?

I will give him this...it's no wonder that he's got a problem with prescription drugs. After about 5 minutes of listening to his infantile rants and shoddy logic, I find myself feverishly searching for an OxyContin.

The Leader of the Republican Party??? Is it really any wonder that so many "middle of the road" independants are running from the GOP faster than Obama signs checks? Not so much.

Oh...SHUT UP already!

Now, normally, I'm not one to jump to the defense of someone like Harry Reid. He epitomizes the type of individual that I dislike most...Someone that feels justified in marginalizing "close minded" individuals, all the while, when confronted with any idea differing from his own personal opinion his cranium slams shut like an airlock on the Endeavour. There are plain ol' hypocrites and then there are over-educated, self-loathing, uptight, intellectual elitist hypocrites. I prefer the vanilla variety, hands down.

In all honestly though, I just cannot figure out what the big deal is about Game Change. By now, we've all heard that Reid believed that the world was Obama's oyster primarily because he was "a "light-skinned" African-American with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one..."

Now, it may be me...but I took his statement, not as personal affirmation of these African American traits, but as a judgement on the public and their inability to accept the idea of an African American president. He wasn't saying...."I like my African Americans to be pale" he was saying "the more white he looks and appears, the better shot he'll have at winning over a relatively racist populace".

And he apologized to the president???

See, the truth is...you can't have it both ways. You can't denouce or refute Reid's opinion of US citizens without admitting that there have been remarkable strides in race relations in the last 30 years. And we musn't do that, because it only benefits the government to keep all parties waiting with baited breath to claw someone elses eyes out. Catch 22.

The party of 'No (thought)' will come to the rescue. No wait... instead of capitalizing on the implications that Reid's statement made about the American public, the GOP will continue to rail against Reid with their baseless and humorous attempts to brand him a biggot.

GET THIS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS....Reid's statement wasn't derrogatory towards Obama, it was derrogatory of the American people!

Alas. The truth of the matter is that this little gaffe will probably be the last nail in Harry's coffin. But never fear good Americans! He will rise again like the Phoenix. See how the mothership waits closely by to wisk him away to a planet far from Nevada?

Ahh.....Just Another Reason to Head for The Last Frontier

Seems like a pair of reasonable, though cold, liquor store owners!



While I understand that Mr. Gore couldn't possibly take the time to meet with all of his critics, it does seem appropriate that he cut time out of his busy schedule and board his enormous private jet to personally answer the questions of Mr. Compeau.

If for no other reason than the likeness becomes uncanny once the F-350 starts reving.

Let it also be noted that I did NOT run with the title "GORE BLOWS"...although it is both 'tongue in cheek' and accurate.

Jail Bird Bureaucracy!

Oh good. Many times I lay awake at night and think..."I sure hope that someday, someone will grant the right to vote to thieves, murderers, and drug dealers and then hold those votes in equal regard and with as much respect as mine... lowly hard-working, upstanding, taxpayer that I am. Why should only my incarcerated brethren in Vermont and Maine share my bounty? "

Washington state felons should have voting rights, federal court rules

It's finally come to pass! All the years of yearning to share my biggest privilege as an American with convicts...it's finally here...AGAIN.

Well, I suppose we know where Statler and Waldorf found work after Jim Henson passed...they get paid like fat cats to listen to federal appeals in the evergreen state. Hats off to you guys! Even made out of felt and foam... you're probably of stronger mettle than the sum total of Congress.